Mia Torres

Prof. Magarian

ENGL 305

7 February 2022

A Walk Home

The little boy in the yellow coat jumped around on the sidewalk. The man in the blue backpack held his hand with constancy. He was firm, but not stern, constant, yet unrestrictive. Paying no mind to the child who tripped around, counting his steps and avoiding cracks on the sidewalk, the man focused his gaze onto his phone, seemingly unbothered by the frequent pull and grip of the little boy’s sticky and sweaty palm. Ignoring the boy’s insistent “Babbo!” the man kept moving forward without delay.

The child jabbered on, jumping from thought to thought, thinking out loud, talking just for the sake of making noise. The man knew that this was just something children do; he could remember doing it himself. In his infancy, he would talk to himself about anything and everything, narrating his experience of discovering the world that was so fresh and impressive to him but mundane to everyone else. Now an adult, ignoring the child’s blabber was easy to do. However, he never discouraged the boy from talking. As a child, he hated being told off just for thinking out loud. So instead, he pretended to listen to the boy, while letting his mind wander elsewhere.

Glancing away from his phone, he watched the child struggle to stay on his feet as he played some spontaneous made-up game involving the bricks’ arrangement. The man paused for a moment, noticing that the boy’s zipper had slipped. Briefly, he stopped the boy in his tracks. He zipped up the yellow coat and adjusted the boy’s scarf. The man reviewed the child’s outfit and mentally congratulated himself. He thoroughly enjoyed picking the boy’s wardrobe. The pair were always well-dressed, and he took pride in it.

Continuing their commute, the man returned to his thoughts. He hadn’t expected fatherhood to be so involved and demanding. His father had often been somewhat distant, not as involved as the man was with the child in the yellow coat. Of course, his father cared about him, but only so far as to the person he would become, not enough to want to be around him. The man recalled his father’s encouragement to always dress well so that it would force him to look and behave confidently, that dressing well would help him be a man. He never really loved the uncomfortable shoes that his father would put him in but being dressed by his father was among his favorite memories of the old man. It was when his father had paid the most attention to him, and he liked that feeling.

Then again, he didn’t remember holding his father’s hand. And he had turned out fine, he thought to himself. Maybe he was coddling the child next to him. He looked down at the boy and hesitantly released his hand. Surprised, the child stopped walking and watched his father take a few steps forward without him. Not wanting to fall behind, the boy rushed to take two big jumps forward.

The man looked back, and taking in the small person, the man felt a pang in his heart. If the boy tripped now, his hand would not be there to keep him up. The man stopped moving, waiting for the boy to catch up with him. The man began to miss the connection and the constancy in the hand holding. He reached out to the boy, grabbing his shoulder, ruffling his hair, reaching down to stroke his back as he guided the boy forward.

Trying to reestablish that sense of closeness, he listened to the boy’s chatter and answered his questions. The man liked the boy’s curiosity; it reminded him of himself at that age. He recalled tripping over his feet, jumping off street curbs, and pointing out street signs to his father. He always wanted his attention but never received it. Looking at his son, he thought that perhaps his father’s neglect was why he felt lost when it came to raising the boy. It dawned on him exactly how quickly his father’s emphasis on manhood had forced him to grow up, and the man didn’t want that for the boy in the yellow coat. The man wanted his son to be a good person regardless of what he wore, but he also wanted the boy to be happy and have fun. The man realized that if the boy had a childhood where he felt loved and received the attention he deserved, then the confidence and the “manhood” was sure to follow.

The man reached out and grabbed the boy’s hand again. The boy quickly pulled his arm away, not wanting to feel restrained. The man walked forward a few steps and called out to his son. Whatever he said excited the child, who skipped ahead, eager to grab his father’s hand again. The boy returned to his rambling, and the man took an interest in it. He saw so much of himself in the boy, and both were pleased to have each other’s attention as they continued their walk home.